I’m not on Facebook or Instagram. I’m not on Twitter or Snapchat.
I deleted my LinkedIn profile. Although to tell you the truth I never knew what LinkedIn was for.
I don’t miss them. I doubt they miss me.
We weren’t a good match. I’ve been a self-proclaimed minimalist for years. I will toss anything that I don’t think is beautiful or useful. I don’t waste time on things that I feel are weighing me down.
Mean people, worn out clothes, cherry pitter…you are all out the door.
I’ve done stuff purges, friend purges, a 6-month spending freeze, I donated my wedding gown, I’ve been ruthless with my family photos, quit dream jobs that turned into nightmares, & kicked to the curb ANYTHING that wasn’t working for me.
Social media was harder. I didn’t like it but I felt like I needed it.
I felt like that is how I connected to friends and family. Like many of you, many of my dear friends and all of my family live someplace else. I told myself that in order to maintain these connections, that I truly valued, I would put up with a medium I neither liked nor respected.
Then one day I realized that many of these connections were not real.
I was chasing after ghosts. I was remembering relationships that were gone. The odd “like” or “happy birthday” does not actually mean anything. I was selling my serenity for nothing.
Of all the things I’ve let go…letting go of the dream of those relationships was one of the hardest.
Once I did, I felt like I’d woken up from a deep nap. I was refreshed and unburdened. I no longer have to worry about offending someone I went to high school with or wondering if my pictures are insta-worthy.
I’m now working on meeting up with people in real life. In negotiating the give and take of real connections. In accepting that maintaining friendships takes real work, real-time, real-ness.
I like it better. It feels better.